India part three: One fort, two fort, pink fort, blue fort.

 

After all the beach we could handle for a bit we booked our night bus for our trip to Rajasthan in North West India by way of a brief stop in Mumbai. On the journey it quickly became clear to us that Tash had gravely offended some cow or one of the other hundred plus deity’s, because about an hour into our 14 hour bus ride she got what we Deiter’s call “a rumbly in her tumbly.” I defy you to think of a worse place than an Indian night bus to develop Nausea, vomiting and um….other gastrointestinal issues. My poor baby had to suffer episodes of throwing up out the window (and hoping that the people behind/below us had their windows closed) and one emergency um….bathroom break behind a parked car on the side of the road. It was terrible. A little less terrible was Mumbai, India’s “cosmopolitan capital of cool” which we found to be loud, expensive, loud, crowded and loud (sooooo many honking horns). We recognize that this is unfair because cities are tough to get a read on in a short amount of time, but our honest assessment of the cities that we’ve visited on this magical mystery tour ranks Mumbai second worst behind only Manila. The “highlights” were a trip to the “Gateway of India” which is a giant arch erected to welcome the king of England for a visit in 1911, and a trip to McDonalds which reminded us of home and was the most adventurous cuisine that Tash could handle at that time. After a couple days it was time for another loooong bus ride north into Rajasthan to visit a bunch of cities that flourished as trade posts on the Silk Road and were colored buy battles between Hindu Rajput and Muslim Moghul emperors. First up was Udaipur which was the site where the 1983 bond movie “Octopussy” was filmed. I know this because this classic is screened every night at like 30 different places in town. Our hostel showed it all three nights we were there starting at 7 O’clock on the dot. (P.S. If you haven’t seen it it’s a gem, with a comically tense scene where Rodger Moore hides from bad guys on a circus train in a gorilla suit….yeah you read that right) In addition to their deep ties to 007 Udiapor boasts a beautiful palace that we toured and a lake that cuts through the middle of the city that gives it sort of a romantic European feel at night when it’s all lit up. On Valentine’s Day we went searching for some non-Indian cuisine and found some passable Italian. On the way back home we heard a huge commotion that seemed bigger and louder than the run of the mill Indian commotion so we decided to see what was going on. After searching a bit we found that the source of the noise was the groom’s side of a huge wedding party working their way to the ceremony site where the bride’s side waited. The groom was on a special ceremonial white horse and he was following what amounted to a giant boom box on wheels that was absolutely bumping the hottest beats India has to offer. Trailing behind him was a bunch of carts with what we later learned was part of the dowry he had received, and the carts were strung together with giant ornamental Christmas lights and they had a dude in the back pushing a gas generator to make the whole production go. Everyone was dancing and singing and the grooms father and uncle kept tossing money in the air to the delight of the crowd. We followed the whole thing until it wound its way to the reception site where the bride and her family were waiting and were going to call it a night until we were literally swept inside with the groom’s family. It was a real introduction into Indian hospitality as everyone (there were probably 300 people, we were told it was a small wedding) was all smiles and saying “Eat, please Eat.” Just like at home huh? Two random strangers show up (in shorts and flip flops) and you’re like “should I call security or just have one of the groomsmen fight them?” After we almost overdosed on smiles and hospitality we headed home happy to have experienced this amazing piece of Indian culture. On another day in Udaipur we rented a car with a Texan named Joel and a mad Russian named Igor to travel out to a Jane (it’s a Hindu sect) temple and a fort that featured the second longest wall behind the great wall of China. The temple was amazing and had tons and tons of intricately carved marble columns and features and the fort was beautiful both for its architecture and surrounding mountainous scenery. Also at the fort we blew the minds of like 60 school children who were there on a class trip. They ran up to us like we were Justin Beiber (Before he became such a Bleep-hole) and lined up to shake our hands, try their English and take some pictures. It was awesome and ended with them all shouting “Thank you Auntie/Uncle” (which is what Indian kids call everyone over the age of like 20) as they shook our hands and ran off. After brining so much joy into the hearts of children we decided to call it a day and headed back to the hostel. The only other noteworthy event in Udaipur was the purchase of Tash’s first “Ali Baba Pants.” They are as ridiculous as the name sounds and have a huge billowing crotch section that hangs down almost as low as the legs…but they are super comfortable. This first taste got Tash hooked and if I didn’t pull the plug she would have had like 40 pairs before we left. After leaving Udaipur we headed to “the blue city” of Jodhpur which is so named because many of the houses are painted blue. This is quaint until you discover that they are painted blue (the color of the Brahman caste) to let the lowest caste (the untouchables) know to keep away and not even touch the outside of the house. The caste system is theoretically not it play anymore but in talking to people it is clear that it remains a big part of the social structure especially in more rural areas. Jodhpur started with some shadiness when our hostel owner told us over some chai that despite the fact that we had booked online a few days ago we would have to stay at a different hostel because they were all booked up (wait what?). This put us in a sour mood because you’re always on guard for nonsense like this in India and you can help but feel like you’re being swindled, sometimes you are and sometimes it’s just normal benign Indian tomfoolery. My mood brightened a bit when we arrived at the other hostel and I found out that they had a one year old English lab named Mac. We were told by several India veterans along the way to “hope for the best, but expect the unexpected” and after we decided to “SAY YES TO INDIA” we adopted this attitude and it served us well, hell it helped us survive. If you’re not laughing you’re crying and the Deiters laughed our way across the entire country. Hostel switch-a-roo aside Jodhpur has an amazing fort that sits on a rock formation overlooking the city. It comes complete with pock marks from cannonballs and spiked gates designed to prevent elephants from ramming them down. Additionally it was packed with artwork, bejeweled swords, diamond ceilings and such, plus its position on the rocks provided a great view of the city and the surrounding area. It was really cool and definitely our favorite of the many Rajasthani forts. After a few days of starring at blue buildings we hopped on yet another bus to “the golden city” of Jaisalmer in the Thar Desert up next to the Pakistani border. After settling in we booked an overnight camel safari into the dessert that ended up being one of the highlights of our entire time in India. We met our guide out in the dessert and hopped on our camels and headed out. Camels it turns out are giant and stubborn and I’m half certain they can smell fear. Tash’s camel spent the first hour or so moaning and groaning by way of huge open mouth bellows and when we asked the guide what was going on he explained that he normally traveled with another camel and essentially he missed his buddy. On the way out we were joined by a dessert dog we named “chapatti” who annoyed the camels but did a good job of keeping the goats away from our food when we stopped for lunch. After an hour and a half or so (just long enough to get saddle sore) we stopped to eat and while we rested under a tree our guide took the saddles of the camel’s and started to set up lunch. Before he really got cooking the camels got antsy and he went over and got each one up in turn, tying a rope (like a camel lo-jack) around their front legs so they could wander off to graze but not get too far. It was funny to watch them shuffle step off towards the trees in the distance why we laid in the shade and sipped chai. After a delicious and freshly prepared lunch we hopped back on our trusty steeds and headed deeper into the desert (like 40 kilometers from Pakistan). Chapatti the dog bailed on us at this point cause it was like 10 thousand degrees and he kept tripping on his tongue, but before long we arrived at our campsite for the evening in a stretch of giant sand dunes. Our guide made dinner and a fire and we were treated to both a sunset and a moon rise. Another plus was that at no point did he awkwardly force us into giving him booze or otherwise squash the mood of our night in the desert. That night we slept under huge comforters and a blanket of stars. It was awesome. The next morning it was back on the camels for some more riding around (which we were almost over at that point) and then mercifully after lunch we were collected by a jeep and taken back to town. All in all it was a great experience and one that we will remember for a long time. The next day we forced ourselves to visit the local fort even though we were basically forted out (you’re probably forted out from reading this) and it was just ok. Still with the jewels and the swords but less than the one in Jodhpur. Speaking of just OK our last stop in Rajasthan (after another long night bus) was Jaipur which is the state capital. It had all of the same features of the other spots, Forts and markets etc, but it was much bigger so it lost a lot of the charm. Maybe if we had gone there first we would have been more impressed but at this point after all the forts and night busses we were ready for a change of scenery. I also started on the wrong foot by having my own GI issues on the night bus into town (I guess that’s what I get for teasing Tash about her bus bathroom issues, karma’s rough) Additionally a lot of the annoying stuff like gallons of cow poop, incessant car horns, aggressive touts and other such nonsense that I have left out because nobody wants to hear us boo hoo about how tough our awesome trip is really did start to build up. The best thing I can say about Jaipur is that its home to our favorite restaurant in all of India. It was called “The peacock” and it sat atop the pearl palace hotel. It had fantastic food, funky décor, cheap-ish wine, and the best bathroom in all of India. We went two nights in a row and it was the one redeeming thing about Jaipur. Food can only take you so far though and by the third day we were ready to hop on a train and head off to Agra and the Taj Mahal.     

 

 

The train station in Mumbai

Tash at The "Gateway to India"

me and a turtle, normal stuff

Dogs on Blogs

stuff like this is everywhere

Ganesh

Random trash at a beautiful palace, get it together India

Me and tish in a palace

Lord Shiva

Nazi's are apparently pretty big in India

A ceremonial horse, check out the inward pointing ears

Now I got two trutles

Sunset in Udiapur

Heart shaped bruschetta on valentines day

The generator running the wedding party

The dude running the generator wanted a picture with me...on our camera..not sure why. Maybe he reads the blog

That's the groom on the horse

The wall at the fort outside of Udiapor

Now with me and tish

Tish with the school kids

The fort from down below

Me with the guard, sweet stache

Marble carving at the Jane temple

Same

A guy cleaning ceremonial bowls at the temple

More from the Jane temple

Double dogs on blogs- could the guy on the right stretch out any more?

The blue city

That's where the prince lives

More of the blue city

Those spikes are for stopping elephants

It looks like paint but its actually thousands of threads wound around tiny shoots of bamboo.

That's typical of the artwork. Lots of stuff like this with the emperor bathing with like 30 chicks

This god stopped the underworld from taking over at one point

all the windows are covered like this to "protect the modesty of the women"

This is when I borrowed a hat from a guard..I'm way happier about it than he is

A ceremonial band at the fort 

More of the blue city

This is when I realized it was time for a new pair of flip flops. Tash said "out with the old and in with the blue."

Our camel horsing around

same

This is how they scratch their backs

Tash pretending she's not nervous

 A goat eating a tree

I'm the king of this dune

Tell me he's not smiling

Start of a desert sunset

Tash holding the sun

Now with a heart

I'm technically spinning it on my finger

Our guide by the fire

Tash keeping cozy

A goat I captured

Us with our guide

A vegetable market

The fort in Jaisalmer

Tish with an old elephant gun

This guy's not buying what you're selling

This kid was hilarious

Just a couple of cows

Me in a turban Cleveland Browns style

Same

Pigs love trash

A Nazi fort

a painted up elephant

The floating palace in Udiapur

A crane in the water

India in one picture: ie colorful, dirty, beautiful and with a cow

More of the lake in Udiapur

Our shadows in the desert

Another painted up elephant

Birds in flight - gopro style

Sun setting over the dune

Some random statue

Me jumping off a dune

Didn't stick the landing

and I'm down

Tash at a temple

Tash rolling down a dune

A lilly pad pool.

Our camel eating breakfast

Kids at a temple watching a puppet show

A shade tree in the desert

Donkeys carrying rubble through the city

Our guide cooking lunch

Tash fighting a hangover in the desert

More cows eating trash

Same

Part of the 36K long wall

Go pro out a window at the fort

a giant pile of sugary sweet treats

Colors of India

Same

Tash with some school kids

Check out the bird in flight

A statue in a fort

More from the jane temple

Same

Tash getting a turban tied

More jane temple

Same

Our friend Igor

A carriage for a princess 

A hookah

Artsy fartsy with the sun and the palace

A cannon overlooking the blue city

A vegetable market

Same

Guys making fried goodness

Now with tish

Random cow

Dogs on blogs, only a dog could sleep here

The sun over a temple

Colorful camels

This one is painted like a giraffe

Getting a drink

A goat herder chasing goats away from our lunch

Our guide making lunch

Our dog Chapatti getting a drink

A big dune

Same

I love the little puff of hair

Tash overcome with the joy of buying Ali Baba pants

This room had one light, why so many switches? Oh right it's India.

Its right on the sign. Octopussy every night at 7

A real chapatti

now me with chapatti

another camel

camel close up