Hey all, sorry for the extended Hiatus, the internet has been spotty here in South Africa, but we can assure you the rest has been amazing. We will fill you in on all the goings on in Deiter land as the internet situation improves on our way towards Cape Town. For now here is a breakdown of our time on safari to hold you over. Pic's and vids to follow as always....and we're gonna use the "Noah's Ark" policy of only one pic per animal...except for the really awesome ones (lions and such)...any way we still miss and love all of you and will see you soon.
After a brief stopover in Jeddah Saudi Arabia (where the
ladies rock like super burkas with gloves and veils over the eye slits cause
the normal burka is just too provocative…..and there is apparently a deadly
virus on the loose) we landed in Johannesburg South Africa and made a B line
(or is it bee line? Tish and I weren’t sure) to the nearest restaurant that served
beef. This was easy because everywhere serves beef in South Africa, where the
cows aren’t holy, just delicious. It was also nice to ask about the wine
selection and not feel like you were trying to buy Crystal meth. After a day or
so of re-adjusting we picked up our Toyota 4x4 double cab and headed out north
towards Botswana. It was a little nerve racking at first because neither of us
have ever done a safari like this before and I haven’t driven stick shift since
literally the last century. But this is Africa and people have a “don’t worry
about it, things will work out” kind of vibe which is admirable…..until you’re
waiting in line for two hours at the Botswana border to pay your “road tax” and
you want to rip your hair out cause there is one guy waiting on like 40 people
while 6 other “workers” sit idly by because its “not their department.” Bureaucratic
timewasting aside we made it through and onto our first park called Khama Rhino
sanctuary just before they closed the gates for the evening. In retrospect it
wouldn’t have mattered if we were stuck outside the gate for the evening
because the entire country of Botswana is a game park. Seriously, most of the massive
parks that cover huge swaths of the country don’t have fences meaning of course
that the Lions, leopards, cheetahs or any other beast that may have a taste for
the Deiters, are free to come and go as they please. It’s a country the size of
France with two million people in it so the animals for the most part can roam
around in their natural habitat without too much interference from man. In a
word the place is wild. We regularly spotted elephants, zebra, and giraffes
while driving on the highway and would sometimes fall asleep listening to packs
of hyenas or lions call to each other from somewhere in the tall grass around
our vehicle. It was surreal, and occasionally scary. But that first night we
didn’t know any of this, and so we just dove in, popped the tent that sits on
top our vehicle, threw on some 80’s tunes and munched dinner next to an open
fire while looking at stars and sipping wine….life is good. The next day we
drove around Khama which is a rhino sanctuary created by the president/founder/George
Washington of Botswana and is vigorously defended from poachers by a division
of the Botswana Army. This means that the place is absolutely packed with both
black and white rhinos (and a whole bunch of other game) who happily munch on
grass while you drive around and take pics. Another great thing about Khama is
the network of well-kept dirt/gravel roads that make driving a breeze.
Unfortunately for us Deiter’s the second park we went to called Central
Kalahari opted away from sweet gravel cruising and instead chose to go with a
series of muddy death traps interspersed with car swallowing ponds. This park is
the size of Denmark and is home to around 2000 lions with distinctive black
manes. To be fair on the way in the ranger told us that there was “a lot of
water on the road” which while technically true, probably understates the situation
(watch the video later and judge for yourself). The drive in to our “campsite”
was 38 kilometers of bumpin and jumpin, slipping and sliding on the craziest
road I’ve ever driven. When we arrived at the campsite, which was only
distinguishable from the other terrain because it has a small wooden sign with
a “3” on it (and no fence), we realized that the stuff in the back had been
thrown around so violently that our fridge was broken. We were a bit shaken up
from the experience (and from the knowledge that we would have to drive the
same road out at some point) but eventually settled in for an evening of
attracting lions…I mean cooking steaks….and trying to keep our campfire
roaring. The next morning we drove around a bit but decided to leave the park
altogether because the roads everywhere were terrible and it was essentially
only a matter of time till we got stuck. So off we went back up the highway of
death, a little bummed out about the fridge and very intimidated by the road
conditions. But I kept telling myself we made it in so we can make it out and
carefully picked my way through the different obstacles. On the puddles we were
told to drive in “fast but not too fast” which is just the kind of uselessly
ambiguous advice you want when you’re surrounded by lions, and I would try and
keep 2 wheels on the side for traction which is good, but unnerving because of
the way the truck tilts. For the mud it was just slow and steady cause if you
stop you’re stuck, and if a section looked too crazy I just went off-off road
taking out trees and bushes as I went. About 10km’s in we hit a terrible
section of mud and I got out to look and see if there was a good path around
it. I wandered around for a few minutes and absolutely far enough away from the
truck to prove the axiom that “god protects idiots” before hopping back in and
pressing on. I say this because not 5 minutes later we rounded the corner to
discover like 12 lions lying next to the road. It was wild, and pure blind stupid
luck that they hadn’t been around when I was on my little stroll. We watched
them for a few minutes (and they watched us…it was creepy) and I decided it was
time to go when a juvenile male got up and started walking towards the road. I
figured if he lays down in the road we’re stuck for who knows how long so I
shifted into second and started to cruise through the pack nice and gentle like.
Just two Deiters out for a stroll…nice and easy, nothing to see here. This as
we would later learn is the worst possible thing to do (in the category of info
that would be helpful beforehand, a guide would later laugh in my face when we
told him the story saying “you messed with them and If you mess with them then they will mess with you”….makes
total sense) so back to almost dying, as we approached the pack they got up and
ran towards the truck from both sides. One female in particular was bounding
next to my window staring into my soul with yellow eyes. Tash is giving me the
high pitched “we’re gonna die” brand of SEAN’s
and I had to will myself into shifting into third to speed up cause I’ve driven
stick more in the last ten days than I did in the last ten years and I was
petrified at the very real possibility that I would stall the truck. Another
horrible detail is that once we were past them we couldn’t see if they were
still chasing us because the mirrors were covered in mud so we never saw them
stop chasing us (so now they still chase me in my dreams). About 20 yards past
them I had to abandon the slow and steady nonsense I was talking about earlier
and just blast through a giant stretch of mud and puddles which was
conveniently located right next to our pursuers. It was the scariest moment of
the trip by a mile, but we survived and after another hour or so of off road-ing
we made it to the gate, onto something that approximated a road, then off to a
city called Maun so that we could get our fridge fixed. One day and 50ish
dollars later we were off to Kasane (with functioning fridge) which is in the
north east of Botswana and is a jumping off point to another park called Chobe
and Victoria falls in neighboring Zimbabwe. The safari camp we stayed at was an
amazing place that had a “boer hole” (a small well) to provide water for
elephants. The owner put the well in before the camp existed so he could get
the elephants, who are regularly poached just over the border used to the idea
that it was a safe place to have a drink. Over time since…ya know… elephants
never forget, hundreds of them would stop here a few at a time on their way in
and out of the park on their loose migration through Botswana and the
surrounding region. In the evenings we would sit up on a covered deck and watch
as groups of elephants came to drink and play in the water. Giant spotlights
would light up the whole area and they would march up and announce their
arrival then wait with varying degrees of patience for the staff to turn on the
water. The camp was 400 meters from the Zimbabwe border and about 5 minutes
from Chobe so for all intents and purposes it was in the park. This became
clear as we sat with the friendly South Africans who ran the place and
identified the different animals that made noises in the tall grass just across
a small stream. It was so funny how normal it was to them to be surrounded by
potentially man eating predators. They gave us terrifying pearls of wisdom like
“if an animal chases you don’t run because the only thing that runs in Africa
is prey,” or “most of the time if a lion charges you it’s a “mock charge” (I
guess the difference between a mock charge and an attack is that the lion stops
running) and “hyenas aren’t a problem, they always run away, unless they are in
a pack, then they’ll kill you” all said with an air of nonchalance that can
only be earned by growing up in a place as wild as this. First on the schedule
for team Deiter was a sunset Chobe river cruise into the national park where we
saw croc’s and tons of hippos and elephants playing in the water. One pair was
like a big brother squashing and holding a little brother under the water and
dunking his head. The next day we crossed into Zimbabwe home to beautiful
Victoria falls and 95 year old president/strongman Robert Mugabe. The contrast
was stark in that Zimbabwe was noticeably poorer than Botswana, it uses the
dollar as its currency because of insane inflation (at one point they printed a
billion dollar note) and the place has weird Soviet era style propaganda pic’s
of Mugabe all over the place. Even still it was interesting to see and Victoria
Falls was simply stunning. You can see the mist from rising up from the falls
like smoke from a forest fire from over 10 miles away. We started our tour by
hopping onto a helicopter to fly over around and through this mist in a figure
8 over the falls. The pilot would bank the chopper to the side so that everyone
got a good view in a manner that had you checking to make sure your seatbelt is
attached correctly. When he would fly through the mist visibility went to zero
and the air pressure would change so the chopper would drop just for a second
(again check out the video later). It was crazy. After we were back on the
ground we went to the Falls park itself where you walk the entire span from
left to right getting alternately soaked by mist or stunned by the view. By the
end of the walking path this ratio switched to mostly soaking where Forrest
Gump style rain (mist) came from everywhere. It was exhilarating for us to be
surrounded by this wall of water but was much less so for my IPhone. I know “you
brought your iphone to the biggest waterfall in the world” but come on, Is it
not classic Sean? Blissfully unaware of my soaking phone we left the park and
walked across a huge bridge and technically crossed into Zambia. Even when we
discovered the phone was ruined our spirits were only mildly dampened and the
day will surely rank among the best of the trip. The cherry on top in addition
to the falls was the great fun we had that evening with our hosts (and new
South African best friends) Carien, Waldo, and Mickey. So much fun in fact that
we decided to stay an extra day and drive into Chobe with them the next day.
They graciously arranged to take a day off work and go with us into the park.
It was way less intimidating to drive around with a local and having another
truck around in case anything goes wrong was great. We drove around watching
all kind of game by the river. One Buffalo in particular was stuck in the mud
(apparently this happens sometimes) and faced the prospect of waiting in the
mud for dark and the lions. Our fun day turned into a fun night where our hosts
threw together our first real South African Braai (BBQ). We grilled steaks and
Boerwurst (brat’s) and watched a heaping helping of thirsty animals coming up
for a drink. Then it was a two day drive back into South Africa by way of a
different border post than the one we came through cause the first one was
flooded and closed by recent rains. At the Botswana border Tash proved that we
are in fact turning into each other, because in a “classic Sean move” she
somehow “lost” her phone at the border, either “dropping it out of the car” or “setting
it down somewhere.” (Wait one of has to not be crazy right?) After Botswana
destroyed our Iphones (so I guess we’re off the grid now), we found a beautiful
park called Pillansburg in Northern South Africa. It had sweet campsites and
featured all of the big five in a lovely valley with a lake that was all surrounded
by mountains. Lions were again the highlight but there were tons of other
animals and we definitely felt that we got our money’s worth out of Safari as
we motored back to Joberg to drop off the vehicle. Next episode we swap a big
truck for a small car and head off into South Africa for what would turn into
some of the most varied and consistently beautiful scenery since New Zealand.
